Broken Heart for a Broken World

As a college junior, I am asked quite frequently what I plan to do with my degree. And the truth is, I don't have a clue. The people closest to me know that my heart beats for children. Just seeing a child from across the room brightens my day. A child's smile or laughter is the most incredible thing. My heart breaks for every child that doesn't have someone to hug them and love them and play with them and tell them how precious they are. I mourn for child victims of any kind in any place. What do I want to do after graduation? Reach as many children as I can with love. But how do you turn loving children into a career?

My first thought was school teacher. Clearly, they work with children all day. (That's how this blog came into existence- it was originally a companion to my fake class website, and a place to respond to assigned prompts). But after two years of hearing, "Where's your teacher voice?", "You need to be a little louder?" and "Try not to look so nervous", I decided that teaching wasn't in the cards for me. Teaching was never my calling or my passion. But if not that, then what? I finally settled on psychology, with a child and family emphasis. However, I don't think that is where my career will go. One of the most important things a therapist needs to be able to do is to be able to distance themselves from the problems and emotions of the client. You're not being any help to anyone if you're sobbing right along with them. And I can tell you, I would definitely be needing a Kleenex.

Then, Noel Yeatts from World Help came to Cedarville and talked about Operation Baby Rescue. Think about that name: Operation. Baby. Rescue. That was just...perfect. EXACTLY the sort of thing that would stand out to me, a lover of all things babies with a huge passion for the ones who are hurting. I sat silently through her presentation, with tears streaming down my face. When it was over I turned to Derek, and with one look at me he said, "We need to go talk to her." Thank goodness he went with me, because I could hardly speak without bursting into tears. She said I could sign up to be kept informed of what's going on with World Help and OBR, and that there might be a trip in the works for spring.

I couldn't get OBR off my heart and mind. No chapel message has ever stuck with me as long. I knew I had to get involved. So I started fundraising. My goal: to raise enough money to cover the cost of rescuing one child ($1200) by the end of the year. I ended up $150 short, but still, I was so encouraged by the support I got. Especially from my "broke" college friends. (If you'd like to help with that last $150, you can do so here: http://rescue.worldhelp.net/MelissaandDerek ) :)

When I found out that there was going to be a trip with OBR, I knew I had to go. God must be keeping OBR on my heart for a reason. It just so happened that it took place the week AFTER spring break, which meant missing a week of classes and two weeks of work. But I got permission from my professors, leave from work, and the approval of my parents.

And so it was that last week, I went to Guatemala. Now, I need my blog back. This time, I need it to sort out my thoughts, reactions, prayers, memories, plans, emotions, tears, smiles, and pain. My heart broke for the brokenness in Guatemala, but it also found hope. I remade this blog to reflect the change in its purpose. God has also made me over to reflect the change in my purpose, and as I work through all the implications and emotions and struggles, and as Guatemala weighs on my thoughts, I pray that writing here will help me to learn and grow, and to never forget.